Class Shared Writing - Hair for the better

In class we have been working at understanding exposition. We first developed some success criteria after looking at some examples of this style of writing. Following this Mr Billings planned out and wrote an exposition for the class.

Here are the success criteria:

Success Criteria            

Each paragraph has its own point relevant to the topic, trying to persuade the reader.

The conclusion gives advice for the future, links to the introduction.

Paragraphs start with a topic sentence engaging the audience.

Elaborating on the points in each paragraph.

Use describing words and figurative language.

Fix all their known spelling mistakes and punctuation errors.            

Next we worked on a class piece of shared writing. Here is what we came up with as a class. Mr Billings wrote and the class improved the basic piece of writing to make it more persuasive.

    

Hair for the better.

People with hair often look better, it’s a fact. It protects you from different weather conditions, lets you use a comb, and just looks awesome. Mr Billings, by being bald, you are missing out by not having a set of luscious locks. A wig is an ideal option.

Out of the classroom can be a terrible place for a bald man no matter what time of the year it is. In summer, the sun beats its searing rays down upon us. In the winter it is freezing cold and we lose a lot of heat from out of our heads. Having a wig in summer will protect you from sunburn. In winter this wig will keep you warm in the icy trip from your car to the classroom.

The emergency comb is no use stapled to the wall. Using it on your shiny lonely head just leads to awkward moments. If you had a wig your emergency comb would have a great purpose for fixing those moments when your wig is out of whack.

Hair is the new, bald is the old. With a wig you can keep up with the latest fashions and the great thing is that one day you can have a green ‘fro and the next day you could then have a snazzy mohawk. You could style your do with hair gel creating a unique piece of art on your head. You can look thrilling during those slow motion camera shots, swaying your hair from side to side in the breeze.

Don’t worry if people stare at you, they are staring because they are jealous. Mr Billings, you need a wig. 

This text was written a few weeks ago. The class are now well into their own expository writing.